For My Freedom and Yours
by Centuries Apart
Summary: Life in Russia's house doesn't seem so bad at first but the illusion of peace quickly dissolves and Lithuania is left trying desperately to cling to the memory of real love and the hope for freedom.
1. Prologue

I remember that the sound of Poland's screams as Russia dragged me from the decaying remnants of our home was a raw sound, like a piece of his own body was being torn away. That was the end of the Lenkijos Karalystė ir Lietuvos Didžioji Kunigaikštystė. We had known for quite some time that the end was drawing near. The home that we'd worked so hard to build up and defend had been taken from us piece by piece. In that final battle we didn't fight to win but to hold on to eachother for even just a moment longer, unwilling to surrender to the innevitable. Our bosses didn't have the same ideals apparently. It was the middle of the night when our conquerors came, waving the treaty like a victory flag. We clung to eachother even as Russia tugged my hair and Prussia held his sword to Poland's neck. Our nails tore clothing and skin in our desperation not to be separated. Austria turned away, Prussia laughed, the gloved hand against my scalp twisted. I heard the scream and saw the tears and distantly wondered through the haze of my own unbearable pain if my face was twisted into the same mask of tortured grief as his.

* * *

><p>Lenkijos Karalystė ir Lietuvos Didžioji Kunigaikštystė - Kingdom of Poland and Grand Duchy of Lithuania: the original name of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth in Lithuanian (according to Wikipedia).<p>

Author's Notes: I don't know how long this story's going to be exactly, just that I wanted to write about the time after the partitions. It's looking like chapters are going to be short. Sorry about that. I know I don't like to read stories with short chapters but please bear with me as I've never written anything multi-chapter before (this even almost became a one-shot).

Anyway! I'd be incredibly happy to get some reviews. Thank you all for reading. I hope you stick around for the whole thing.


	2. Chapter 1

Life in Russia's house wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. Estonia and Latvia were already there along with Ukraine and Belarus who left the Commonwealth after earlier battles. I was in familiar company, at least, and we were well protected within the walls of the Russian Empire's home. It was made clear what daily chores were expected of me and I easily fell into a routine. Mundane tasks like making breakfast, cleaning, and doing laundry helped me keep my mind off of the fact that I was captive. Then I received a letter.

Latvia approached me one day while I was beating the dust out of one of the hallway rugs in the chill of an afternoon breeze. He held a folded piece of parchment out to me in a shaking hand. The curling script addressing the note to me was as familiar to me as my own after having spent 200 years reading it.

I thumbed the folds open missing the wax seal that would have adorned it if the partition hadn't happened. "Ačiū," I thanked Latvia. He continued to stand there shivering and biting his lip. I frowned wanting to read my letter in private. "Was there something else?"

The smaller boy jumped slightly at my question and looked away, his cheeks tinged pink. "J-just that… umm…" He faltered and dropped his head with a sigh. "No. That was all."

I placed my hand on his shoulder and offered a small genuine smile which only served to send him back to working his lip between his teeth. "It's cold out today and you're shivering pretty hard. Why don't you head back inside and set some water to boil? I'll make some tea as soon as I'm done here." He nodded over-enthusiastically and ran back into the house while I turned to the letter written in beautifully drawn, but much less beautifully scripted, polish.

Dearest Liet,

Like, totally sorry I took so long to write. Everything's been, like, super crazy since the partition. I'm living with Austria half the time and Prussia the other half. They pass me back and forth like some sort of… I don't even know. It's, like, way not-cool but I guess it could be worse.

Anyway, you know how I hate meeting new people and there's, like, nobody I know at either house. It makes me crazy-nervous so sometimes I'll pretend you're there with me and, like, imagine what you would say because you're so super smart and, like, totally good with all that social junk that I just fail at. I've been, like, totally trying hard to get along with everybody but you were, like, always way better strangers. There is, like, one person I'm getting along with though. You're totally going to laugh but there's this totally, like, super-adorable kid called Italy living at Austria's place who, I think, would be, like, totally impossible not to like. One day, if Russia lets you visit, I'll introduce you.

I want to hear all about what's happening with you too so, like, write me back and stuff.

Love always,

Poland

I stood in the cold with tears in my eyes. I had scolded my partner countless times over his informal writing, told him how inappropriate it was, but now at I read over the letter a second time I couldn't help but cherish each ridiculous idiosyncrasy. The words on the page were like Poland's voice in my ear and I knew I'd re-read each line even after each pen stroke was ingrained in my memory.

I tucked the parchment into my vest and went inside to make the tea I had promised Latvia but my mind was far from the task. For the rest of the day I went about my chores with methodical movements thinking, all the while, about what I wanted to say to Poland in my reply letter. As the sun crept towards the horizon I finally sat at a desk in the parlor and took pen to page.

Dear Poland,

It was good hearing from you. I've missed your presence greatly and your letter helped to sooth my heart. I'm glad to hear that you're doing well and that you aren't being mistreated. It also makes me glad to know that you've made a friend, even if it is only a child. I, myself, am fortunate to be surrounded by familiar faces though I think it will do you some good to meet new people.

Estonia and Latvia have been showing me the way things are conducted here and I must admit that life here is much calmer for me than it was when you and I were together. Still, I miss our home and yearn for the days when we would simply lie in the fields and watch the clouds role by.

I promise that if the chance arises I will visit you but until we are able to see each other again I will wait for each of your letters with eager anticipation. I hope you will anticipate mine as well.

Yours truly,

Lithuania

I folded my letter into neatly creased thirds, slid it into an envelope and sealed it with a neatly tied ribbon. Placing the note with the other outgoing mail I retired to my room for the evening never noticing the violet eyes tracking my every step. That night I dreamed of hair like sun-kissed wheat fields and eyes like the first leaves of spring.

…oO0Oo…

My days continued to crawl by with the same monotony as before except that now I had Poland's letters to look forward to. I received two or three letters each month handed to me each time by a trembling Latvia. I was beginning to worry that there was something wrong with the boy with how much he was shivering. I would spend the evening writing my reply before heading to bed then wait patiently for the next letter.

We never exchanged news of any importance, just amusing stories of our daily lives and a few words of how much we missed each other, but those letters meant the world to me. I had no idea of the danger those innocent notes were placing me in until one evening as I went to the parlor to reply to Poland's latest letter I found Russia waiting for me by the desk. I froze in the doorway feeling as though I was caught in the act of a terrible crime. I had no reason to feel that way. The letters were just personal messages between Poland and I but the larger man's gaze still felt heavy with condemnation.

"Was there something you needed from me, sir?" I barely kept my voice under control as I spoke.

Russia smiled that cold smile of his and gestured for me to sit at the desk. When I sat he came to stand behind me, placing his massive hands on my shoulders, and leaned down to speak from just behind my ear. "Да. I need you to write a letter to Poland."

I took the pen in my hand and swallowed hard. "What would you like to say?"

I felt his breath stirring the hair that fell over my ears as he scoffed. "I don't want to say anything. I want _you_ to tell him that you no longer want him to send letters, that you will not write to him anymore and that you are now and will always be part of the Great Russian Empire."

As he spoke his grip on my shoulders began to tighten until I had to clench my teeth in order to not react to the pain but despite the threat my eyes narrowed in anger. I refused to be cowed by this man. "No."

There was a tense moment where nothing happened then the world shifted as the chair was kicked out from under me, skittering across the floor and hitting the wall with the crash of wood meeting plaster and both breaking under the force. I hit the ground and there was instantly a hand at my throat restricting, but not completely blocking, the flow of air to my lungs. I struggled against the press of that hand but the more I fought the tighter those gloved fingers squeezed and all the while Russia glared down at me with eyes a little too bright in the dying light of the evening sun and the darkness creeping in from the edges of my vision.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: Poor Lithuania has no idea what a terrible situation he's in! Sorry for any historical inaccuracies that go along with this story. I'm trying to stay reasonably accurate but history was never a strong subject for me and I have to take a few liberties since it <em>is<em> Hetalia. I know that Russia did get a sizeable chunk of Poland in the partitions but since there's no indication in Hetalia of Poland having lived with Russia during that time (and because it makes for a better story for me) I'm saying that Russia got Lithuania and Prussia and Austria had joint custody of Poland. I'm not really sure on all the details about everyone else ending up with Russia. Wikipedia gets really vague about anything to do with the countries that were part of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. My one saving grace is that I get to sort of skim over Austria, Prussia, and Poland. If you notice that anything is HORRIBLY wrong please let me know and I'll make the best attempt to correct it.

Reviews are greatly appreciated even if it's just a couple of words.


	3. Chapter 2

I woke up in my own bed with the moonlight shining through the windows. For a surreal moment I thought that my encounter with Russia had been some tormented dream but the soreness around my neck and the fact that I was still wearing my clothing from the previous day made the reality of my situation clear. I wondered what had I done to upset Russia in such a way. Why would he be upset that Poland and I were exchanging letters? I wasn't privy to any confidential information. The letters were completely innocent. I made up my mind right then that I would have to speak to Russia about the incident and that I would continue the correspondence regardless of his feelings. With my decision made I changed into my nightgown and went back to bed.

Confronting Russia was much more difficult than it sounded. I barely saw the man over the next week and whenever I did he would have some excuse to leave again. Maybe it was out of guilt or maybe it was embarrassment but, regardless, it was obvious he was avoiding me so when an opportunity presented itself I was quick to grab hold. I spotted Estonia carrying a tray of tea down the hall and saw my chance.

I fell in step with the other Baltic and inquired lightly, "Is that for Mr. Russia?"

His step faltered for a moment before he regained his composure. "Yes. He likes to have tea in the afternoon when he's working." I didn't miss the subtle hint. I would be disturbing Russia's work if I bothered him now but I was determined to speak with him.

I took the tray out of his hands with a smile. "I'll take it to him. Why don't you go help Latvia with the dusting?"

He frowned looking hesitant. "I don't think…"

"He always has such trouble with the taller shelves and I wouldn't want anything to get broken." That convinced him. If something got broken Latvia would be in trouble and Estonia, being the tallest of us, was the logical choice to help. He was still reluctant but he gave me a curt nod and left.

I knocked softly at the office door and after hearing the muffled "Enter" from the other side I opened it.

"Estonia, you're later than usual today. What could have…" Russia looked up from the document he was reviewing and the false smile he wore tightened at the corners. "You are not Estonia."

I brought the tray in and set it on the corner of his desk before starting into the motions of pouring and preparing a cup for the other man. "Estonia is helping Latvia with the dusting so that the top shelves can be cleaned properly. I apologize for the change in routine." I held the cup out to him by the saucer between firm fingers.

Russia looked past the drink and into my unwavering eyes before carefully taking the delicate china from me and placing it on the desk in front of him. "How… thoughtful of him." Taking a sip from his cup he turned violet eyes back to his work. I stood there fidgeting for a moment before clearing my throat to get his attention. The larger man didn't even look up as he addressed me. "I'm a bit busy at the moment so unless there's something pressing you needed me for I'd prefer that you leave."

I wasn't likely to get a better chance so I took a shaky breath before starting. "You have no right to tell me who I can or can't send personal letters to." Russia's entire body tensed. I felt a pang of sympathy for the pen being squeezed in a hand I knew all too well to be brutally strong. "I understand if you want to review my correspondences to make sure I'm not divulging any information that could compromise you or any of us living within your house but I thought you should know that I have decided that, despite your disapproval, I will continue writing to Poland."

The pen's wooden handle snapped and the nib broke under the pressure of being pressed upon. The fragment of metal flying in an unknown direction to be lost until the next time the office was thoroughly cleaned. Still, eyes didn't move from the now ink-smeared paper they were fixed on.

"Leave… now." The command was spoken with the tremble of barely-contained rage. Wisely choosing not to push my luck I bowed and walked out a few steps too fast to properly conceal my fear.

…oO0Oo…

My dear Poland,

I apologize for the delay in my reply. There was a measure of turmoil here that required my attention. Thankfully all has been settled and I am able to finally take the time to write. It seems to me that time is no longer marked by days and weeks but by the space between each of your letters arriving and, although I wish you no grief, there is a selfishness to me that hopes it is the same for you.

I've felt the distance between us more keenly over this past week than any other. No matter what my worries you always had the right words to make me smile. Without you I seem to get lost in the labyrinth of my own thoughts too easily and I'll find myself going 'round in circles more oft than not but the echo of your presence is even there in my mind to soothe me.

Forever yours,

Lithuania

The words flowed from the pen as quickly and smoothly as the ink allowed. I would have rather sent Poland some assurance of my happiness and wellbeing but my heart wasn't in it. I was drained, both physically and mentally, and I desperately yearned to hear his lilting voice and feel his gentle hands. I felt that his simple presence would make everything better but, denied his presence as I was, all I had to console myself with was the painful wait for his return letter.

…oO0Oo…

Day after day I waited for his reply but none came, so I wrote again then again and again. With each letter I wrote I became increasingly agitated. At first I included a simple "I never received your response" which changed to "I'm beginning to worry for you" and eventually "Please. I just need to know that you're well" but Latvia's trembling hands never held anything for me.

After nearly three months with no word I was a mass of overwrought nerves. I was losing sleep, hardly eating, and barely able to manage my chores. I kept assuring myself that I certainly would have heard if something had befallen Poland. Even partitioned, he was certainly important enough that word would have been sent out if there was anything seriously wrong but my mind kept circling back to every worst case scenario I could imagine.

When the day's work was done my feet automatically brought me to the parlor. Most of my evenings were spent at that desk. More often than not I just sat staring at the blank page before me. What more did I have to say? What plea could I send to bring a response?

I let out a weary sigh as I opened the door only to freeze at the familiar scene. Russia was waiting for me seated at the desk holding a familiar piece of parchment tied with a ribbon. A stack of identical letters sat on the desk next to him and I started to tremble. Rage threatened to eclipse reason so I clenched my fists tight enough to feel the bite of nails against my palms.

The tenseness of my frame didn't go unnoticed by the man before me and I saw his smile that fraction further. "Nice of you to join me, Lithuania. I was just doing some light reading." He waved the letter in his hand slightly. "I believe you're familiar with the material already."

I stepped fully into the room. "Those aren't for you."

He continued as though he hadn't heard me. "This one's my favorite. 'I'm so worried for your wellbeing. My dreams have been haunted by terrible visions.'" I sneered at the sound of his heavy accent marring the polish words I had taken such care to write. "'In these dreams you're hurt and I, for whatever reason, am unable to reach you. Each time I awake sobbing.'" He chuckled. "I think that this certainly must be disturbing Latvia and Estonia's sleep as well."

"Those letters are for Poland," I said pointing a shaking finger at the stack of letters. "I've been worrying myself sick because I haven't been receiving replies, and this whole time Poland has been waiting for _mine_?"

That infuriating smile broke into a full grin as Russia nodded. "Да. It's been most amusing for me to watch you tear yourself apart with anxiety. I almost wish I could see the effect this has had on your _dearest _Poland, after all," he pulled another letter, one with my name written across it in curling script, from within his coat, "his letters are just as distraught sounding as yours."

It was as though my body moved on its own in that moment lunging for the letter as though it was my heart itself that Russia held. In one fluid motion he stood grabbing the wrist of my outstretched hand and knocked one of my ankles from under me with a well-placed foot. The world seemed to shift and I found myself on the floor with a boot between my shoulder blades pressing me into the rug.

"To be honest," Russia continued the conversation as though he hadn't just thrown me to the floor, "I had thought that both of you would give up when you stopped receiving replies from each other. I underestimated your tenacity, but no matter." The heel of the larger man's boot dug into Lithuania's back as he spoke. "You're going to do as I suggested before and tell Poland to stop this nonsense."

"I'll do no such thing!" I ground out through gritted teeth. I couldn't twist around to get a proper look at the man above me but I could easily feel the menace emanating from him.

"Is that so?" His grip shifted from my wrist to hold my pinky finger between his gloved fingers squeezing painfully. My mind flew back to the pen broken so easily in two. My mind spun with the horror of the thought. Certainly he wouldn't. I needed my hands for my chores, after all.

I heard the crunch of breaking bone before my mind could process the pain. I had the fleeting thought that it was more of a wet tearing sound than the sharp snap that the pen had made. Then the pain hit me. I had suffered broken bones before, of course, but having a bone deliberately singled out and crushed was very much different. My scream caught in my throat coming out as a pathetic, strangled noise.

Russia caressed the broken digit almost tenderly causing jolts of pain before shifting his grip again to my ring finger. "We're going to try that again. You're going to write to Poland and tell him to stop sending those letters."

You could call it courage or foolishness, but the words were out of my mouth before I had the chance to think better of it. "Go to Hell!" That won me another broken finger and another choked scream.

I felt Russia twist my hand this way and that as he examined his work. "I suppose you'll need the rest of this hand to write with." He let go and I immediately pulled my hand in as close to my body as I could manage in the position I was in letting out a sob more in frustration at my defenselessness than any pain I was feeling. The weight on my back shifted as Russia bent down to capture my other hand, my left hand. "You don't need your left hand, though."

My shoulder was pulled at an uncomfortable angle but that was the least of my concerns as I felt those leather clad digits on my pointer finger. "Are you ready to do as I ask now?"

I muffled my sob against the rug but said nothing. Another finger was broken. I could feel my erratic pulse throbbing in the two now swelling on my right hand.

The grip moved to my middle finger. "Poor Lithuania. It doesn't have to be this way. I don't want to hurt you." I very much doubted that. He was taking some sick pleasure in this torture. "How many bones are you going to make me break because of your stubbornness? Are you going to sacrifice your whole hand, your arm, your legs, just to spare that man a few harsh words?"

It wasn't any kindness towards Poland that kept me from agreeing. It was about my own freedom, my own pride. As the next finger was broken and I screamed my pain and anger into the floor beneath me I began to wonder if that was really a valid reason to endure this. The fall of men and nations alike could be attributed to pride.

I was no longer listening to whatever Russia was saying in that falsely kind tone of his caught up in my own mind as I was. Two more fingers had fallen victim while I chased my own thoughts. Tears were flowing down my face to dampen the rug my face was pressed to. At the feel of that grip on my thumb I finally broke.

"Stop! Please!" My voice was raw and strained from my screams and the pain radiating from each mangled bone.

The silenced stretched between us only broken by my harsh breath until Russia finally spoke. "Are you ready to do as I ask now?"

I sobbed hard as I spoke. "Yes. Just, please, stop."

The boot was suddenly gone from my back and I was being lifted, almost gently, and deposited in the chair at the desk. I looked forlornly at the stack of neat letters addressed to Poland but I didn't dare touch them. A blank parchment and pen were placed in front of me then the same gloved hand that had just caused me such pain was petting my hair gently. I started trembling at the touch but took the pen between my precious, undamaged, fingers.

"Now wright just as I say."

Poland,

I must ask you to cease in this ridiculous correspondence. It is clear that our separation is a fact that we must accept and wallowing in the past will not change this matter. To be quite frank, your letters have become most bothersome to me.

I am happy in my new home and encourage you to find your own happiness in the life you have but regardless of what joy you may or may not find I do not wish to hear of it. I will no longer be sending you word of my own life either so consider this a final farewell.

Goodbye,

Lithuania

* * *

><p>Author's Note: Ah! The abuse has gone up a notch! Sorry for the ridiculous wait for this chapter. I had to derail my train of thought so I could work on cosplay for Sakura Con then I had a hard time getting it back on the tracks but it's an extra-long chapter to make up for it. Yay!<p>

To everyone who reviewed or added me to their favorites/alerts: THANK YOU! You are a huge motivator to actually work on this. I'm certainly writing this for everyone who's out there reading it but your support makes the work a little more worthwhile for me.

purple-ripples: Well I can't disobey the scary Belarus voice! ;)

Arukas: I'm actually generally non-reviewer myself. I'm so bad. I'm glad you liked the end. I hadn't thought of it as being breath-play until you mentioned it. I was just thinking Russia being Russia. I think Russia being in a fic IS a warning. XD Don't worry. You'll get more of that later though.


	4. Chapter 3

No one mentioned my bandaged fingers although Estonia and Latvia picked up the work my injuries made difficult for me without my having to ask. I wondered if they thought I deserved whatever pain my own stubborn pride got me. I certainly felt that I had been foolish to defy Russia so fiercely over such a small matter especially since the house had returned to such a state of calm. It felt as though the air had been cleared of a stifling pressure like when you open the windows in the spring after a long winter of being shut up tight. Russia was in high spirits, speaking freely of everything from weather to politics and doting upon his sisters with open affection. He engaged Latvia in a debate over trade and taxation, much to the boy's nervous displeasure, and seemed pleased when Latvia worked up the courage to disagree with him on import policies. Estonia, for his part, made himself scarce, which seemed to be his way of handling every situation in Russia's home. The drastic change in atmosphere was a bit surreal but I reveled in it, flitting from room to room doing my chores with a sense of calm that I hadn't had since before I arrived. My fingers healed with time. I suffered a persistent numbness in my damaged first and middle fingers but took it in stride as a reminder to pick my battles more carefully in the future.

Time passed without my taking particular note. Snow and frost gave way under the persistence of the sun's warmth which was too quickly swept away by chill winds warning of the frozen winter already on its slow march from Siberia. I sat in the kitchen listening to the wind howling outside with a warm cup of tea one afternoon when Russia found me.

"There you are!" He beamed at me. "I've been looking for you, Lithuania."

I smiled and placed my cup aside. "What can I do for you, Mr. Russia sir?"

He held out a small box wrapped neatly in green paper and tied with a silk ribbon the color of rich chocolate. I stared at the package for a moment before gently lifting it from his outstretched hands. "Sir?" I asked hesitantly.

The end of his scarf suddenly had his rapt attention as he toyed with it nervously. I couldn't help but notice the tinge of pink on his pale cheeks as he spoke. "It's for you."

As I carefully loosed the ribbon and pulled the paper from the box Russia became increasingly flustered shifting from one foot to the other. It was oddly endearing. When I finally lifted the lid off my eyes widened in surprise. I gently took the dark brown gloves and set the box aside. The leather was soft and the inside was lined in rabbit's fur. "They're lovely." They were far more than that, but I had lost all words as I turned the finely crafted items over in my hands.

Russia only fidgeted more as he spoke. "I thought maybe, if you wanted to, you could join me on a ride sometime but it gets so cold out so I thought you could use them." My eyes shot up to stare in open shock, not that the other man noticed intent as he was on his scarf. Apparently my silence prompted him to continue as his blush grew brighter. "And I thought they might be a nice gift for you having been here a year now."

An anniversary gift? I suddenly felt as though I had missed something very important. Had I misjudged my role? I had thought I was only a servant here, never had any indication otherwise, but it would have been rude to decline. I slipped my hands into the gloves flexing my fingers and smiling at the sensation of soft fur against my palms. Russia was looking at me expectantly now and I couldn't help the color that rose to my own cheeks at the intensity in that look.

"I'd be happy to accompany you." The smile that spread across his face at my words seemed too bright for what I had agreed to but I brushed any trepidation aside to instead grasp the fragment of companionship offered.

My left hand was clasped suddenly in both of his and I flinched. The larger man seemed not to notice as he continued to smile and stroked my fingers absently as he spoke. "Good! Good! Tomorrow then? We can go down to the Пехорка-река maybe. It's smaller than the Москва but I like it." I nodded dumbly at the sudden enthusiasm. There was surely nothing so thrilling about a simple ride by the river but if Russia was this excited by it I wouldn't voice my opinion.

…oO0Oo…

The following morning over breakfast Russia turned to me smiling. "When you're done eating if you would pack us a lunch and meet me in the front courtyard I'll get everything else ready."

Belarus turned to her brother with a frown on her thin lips. "You're going somewhere, брат?"

"Да." Either he was oblivious to his younger sister's narrow-eyed glare or he simply didn't care because he continued on as though nothing was wrong. "I thought it would be good to get out of the house for a bit before the weather turns truly bad."

"With _him_," she practically snarled gesturing toward me with an elegant wave of a hand.

Russia nodded. "I invited Lithuania to join me. He spends too much of his time cooped up in here. He could use the fresh air, I'm sure, and I would enjoy the company." Latvia nearly choked on his гренки although it was unclear if it was from the conversation itself or the withering look directed toward me was unclear.

Estonia patted the boy's back as he coughed and Ukraine took that moment to interject her thoughts on the matter. "Well I think it's a wonderful idea! We should all spend time getting to know each other." Every eye at the table was on her now staring with varying degrees of skepticism. "Why don't we each spend the day with one of you boys?" She turned her attention to Estonia who swallowed nervously. "I had to head into town to run some errands today. How about you come with me, Estonia?"

Estonia fidgeted in his chair glancing at Russia nervously to gauge his reaction however Russia seemed less than concerned with his sister's request. With a sigh that was either relief or resignation Estonia nodded and smiled shakily. "I'll gladly accompany you."

Ukraine clapped her hands together and grinned. "It's decided then. For today Rusya will take Lithuania, Belenka will take Latvia and I'll take Estonia." From his pallor I thought Latvia would faint right at the table, but he managed to hold himself together even under the weight of Belarus' withering look.

The rest of the meal was held in tense silence.

…oO0Oo…

I slipped on my worn boots, patched winter coat and new gloves and picked up the lunch I had wrapped in plain butcher paper and twine and went to meet Russia. As I came out the door into the courtyard I saw him waiting for me petting the white nose of the sable Don mare he stood next to. I came up next to him but said nothing preferring to simply watch the unusually gentle touch he used on the horse. "Shurochka is beautiful, isn't she?"

Nodding, I hummed in agreement. "She's a fine horse." I meant it too. I had ridden many horses in my time for travel, work and battle and she compared to the best of them, lean muscle and sharp eyes with an intricately braided mane and tail just shades darker than her coat.

"Alright then," the food I was carrying was swept from my hands and packed into one of the saddlebags, "up you go!" Without further warning Russia's strong hands were on my waist and lifting me into the saddle as though I was a child who couldn't mount a horse without assistance.

Once I was settled I looked about suddenly realizing that there was no other horse. "Mr. Russia, what about…" Russia chuckled and swung up into the saddle behind me. I swallowed hard at the proximity we were forced into and as he reached around me to grasp the reigns I pressed closer to him. I could feel the rise and fall of his chest against my back. His coat was thick enough to keep his body heat from escaping and warming me but with his arms around me and pressed against me as he was I would be shielded from the worst of any harsh weather that may arise by his larger frame. I thought that perhaps that had been his plan all along as we started on our way.

The ride was slow and pleasant so I took the opportunity to admire the landscape. The colorful leaves of autumn that still clung to their branches and the crisp air just cold enough to see each exhale lent a pleasant atmosphere to the trip. Although neither of us spoke along the way it wasn't a tense silence and I was almost disappointed when we came to the bank of the river.

Russia dismounted then took my hand and helped me down as well. I stretched my muscles, stiff from the ride, and watched as he spread a blanket on the ground for us to sit on while we ate. "Are you hungry now or would you like to wait a bit before lunch?"

"Perhaps we could walk along the bank for a bit?" Russia agreed and secured Shurochka to a nearby tree.

We walked for a while until I knelt down and took a pebble from the ground. I noticed the curious gaze of my companion as I tossed the stone causing it to bounce across the water a few times before sinking. His eyes widened and he let out a tiny gasp of surprise before taking a rock of his own and throwing it. Bemused, I watched it sink immediately into the river. Russia frowned, really more of a pout, and turned to me. I tossed another stone and we watched as it hopped a bit then sank.

His frown deepened before he asked, "How did you do that?"

I was surprised at the question and I'm sure it showed on my face. "Have you never skipped stones before?" Russia fidgeted under my curious gaze and shook his head. I smiled then and it felt good spreading thru me and warming me in a way no glove or coat could. "I'll teach you."

Once Russia picked up the skill we spent a good deal of time competing at stone skipping. By the time we decided to have lunch we had both accumulated quite a few victories and defeats. We sat on the blanket eating with smiles still lingering on our lips.

"It's been a good day." Russia's voice was soft as he gazed out over the sparkling waters of the river. He looked contented for once, as if the weight of the entire Russian Empire wasn't balanced carried on his shoulders, and in that moment we were just two men.

Smiling all the more I matched his tone. "It has been."

I should have noticed a change in the atmosphere or anticipated his next action but as the soft leather-clad fingers pushed the hair away from my face I froze my mind spinning in confusion. He leaned towards me hand still on my cheek fingers tangled in my hair. I watched in mixed fascination and fear as he came closer and closer, then our lips met. It was just a soft press of his slightly chapped lips against mine and it only lasted a moment but in that moment the only thought that processed in my mind was, 'Sudas'.

* * *

><p>Пехорка-река: Pekhorka river. A tributary of the Moskva River.<p>

Москва: Moskva. Referring to the Moskva River which Moscow is named for.

брат: Brother in Russian (also in Belarusian and Ukrainian conveniently)

гренки: Grenki. A Russian food similar to French toast.

Rusya and Belenka: Just cutesy versions of Russia and Belarus' names. Ukraine uses "chan" after their names but that would have sounded weird with them not speaking Japanese in the story.

Sudas – Shit in Lithuanian

Author's Note: If I was naming my chapters "Sudas" would be the title of this chapter. Ugh. I didn't mean for it to take so long to get this chapter out but then Russia decided to be all bipolar on me and my plans for this chapter fell apart from there. I'm horribly embarrassed by how long this took. I apologize because no one should have to wait that long to read an update that barely moves the plot forward. I'm pretty sure this will get things back on track though. Thank you all (if anyone's still there) for your patience.


	5. Chapter 4

Someone once said to me, "Those who desire consistency will be constantly disappointed". I should have heeded that warning. My role in Russia's house seemed to be mostly unchanged after our picnic. I went about my business as though nothing had happened. I wasn't blind to the extra affection given to me but it seemed harmless enough. Russia would spontaneously present me with gifts, always practical but also subtly more extravagant than necessary. Each gift was carefully wrapped in colored paper and adorned with a silk complementing silk ribbon. My hair had grown and I had taken to keeping the ribbons to tie it back into a stub of a ponytail while working. I'll admit that I occasionally took advantage of Russia's kindness. A subtle hint got me anything I desired from a new mixing bowl to a winter coat made of thick wool with intricately embroidered edges and brass buttons with swirling designs cast into them. The gifts came whether or not I voiced a need so I felt no guilt in steering Russia's eye toward what I wanted. My grandest gift, however, came without even a word from me.

Anything truly important that Russia had to say was said over dinner as it was the one time we were all sure to be together so when he casually announced, "I'll be taking a trip" it didn't strike me as anything strange. Russia was often called away for business. It was his next statement that was out of the ordinary. "Lithuania and I will leave this Wednesday and return on Friday two weeks after." I could feel the weight of every eye at the table but refused to look up from my plate. What reason would Russia have for taking me with him? I wasn't allowed to handle any of the affairs of my people or land and certainly not of anyone else's but I hesitated to voice such thoughts for fear that this chance to spend an extended period away from the confines of Russia's house would be snatched away from me.

I chewed my lip pensively for a moment before clearing my throat. I thought perhaps I could find my answer through more innocuous questions. "Where will we be heading, if I may ask?"

Russia seemed to think nothing of my query, carrying on with the meal as casually as before. "Vilnius." At hearing the destination I froze, forkful of chicken halfway to my mouth. "I have business to attend to there and my Lithuanian is, ah, lacking." It was at least understandable. Even after all our years together Poland had never bothered to properly learn my language. I wouldn't have expected it from Russia in such a short time although he had the decency to look mildly embarrassed by the confession.

"It's a difficult language." I reassured him. "People don't generally learn it unless they live somewhere it's spoken."

"Still," he smiled shyly and pushed a bit of potato across his plate, "I should know how to speak with you in your own language."

I stared at Russia, speechless that he would think so highly of not only me but my culture to even consider such a thing. Finally I stuttered out, "I'd be happy to teach you."

"I would like that," a shy smile appeared on his face, "But as I'm certain I can't learn by Wednesday I'll still need your assistance, on this trip at least."

…oO0Oo…

I was packed and ready long before Wednesday came and I sailed through my daily chores with energy that seemed all the greater next to Estonia's restraint and Latvia's anxiety. When Wednesday finally arrived I loaded my own and Russia's bags into the carriage and immediately after breakfast we were off. Surprisingly Russia had hired a coachman and invited me to ride inside with him. It would take 6 days to reach Vilnius if we kept a comfortable speed and stopped regularly to rest. Russia pulled out a pair of Knitting needles and I chose to pass the time reading. I had brought a worn copy of Metai to read and an old Latin bible Poland had given me when I officially converted simply because it was habit to take it when I traveled.

Our conversations as we rode were meaningless but pleasant. It was on the third evening when we stopped to rest for the night in Вели́кие Лу́ки before we crossed the border into Latvia's lands that Russia took our conversation in an unexpected direction.

"What's that you've been reading?" He hesitantly asked as I was slipping the beaten leather book back into my bag next to the bible.

I brought the book back out and ran my hand lovingly over the front cover. "It's called 'The Seasons'. The author, Mr. Donelaitis, gave it to me just after…" I had been going to say after the first of the partitions but thought better of it. "It's my favorite book."

Russia looked at it curiously for a moment before he spoke again. "What's it about?"

"It's a poem. It's about," suddenly I felt my face heat at the realization of how awkward it sounded to say my favorite poem was about Lithuania, "people" I finished lamely. Russia didn't need to know the specifics.

"I understand." He nodded and patted my hand still stroking the cover gently. "I'm sure it's an excellent poem."

I offered him a small smile and put the book away. "What have you been working on? I didn't know you knit."

Russia's face went red and he held his bag protectively. "I'm not very good."

"Certainly no worse than me," I chuckled. "I can't knit at all."

For a moment he just stood there staring at me as though he couldn't conceive such a thing and then a wide smile broke out across his face. "I'll teach you then. Ukraine is much better than I am but I can at least teach you the basics."

I waved a hand at him, flustered. "You don't have to do that. I can read some books and practice up if I need to learn."

"It's no problem. It'll be an exchange. You teach me Lithuanian and I'll teach you knitting."

He looked so excited that I didn't even try pointing out that learning an entire language would be much more difficult than learning basic knitting but perhaps I should have worked to dampen his spirits a bit since the next three days had me trying to wield knitting needles while travelling down bumpy roads in a carriage. As it turned out Russia's idea of being "not very good" meant he could well have worked in the Parisian knitting factories a couple of centuries prior and I had quite a task in learning his "basics". When we crossed the border into my lands Russia became eager to have me teach him at least some simple phrases so he might at least be polite. His pronunciation was painful at best and completely unintelligible at worst but by the time we reached Vilnius I could knit even rows and he could introduce himself.

…oO0Oo…

Vilnius was as beautiful and full of life as it had ever been. I spoke in easy Lithuanian to the boy who came to collect our belongings while Russia gave the coachman orders and spoke, in Russian, to the official who came out to greet us. We were ushered inside and led to the parlor to wait. We only had to wait a few minutes before another man came into the room to greet us with perfect Russian.

"Welcome to Vilnius, Mr. Russia," He said clasping hands with Russia, "and Mr…"

"Lithuania," Russia supplied. My blood boiled at having to be introduced to the men running my _own_ city in my _own_ lands even if those lands were ruled by Russia at the moment. Either he noticed my displeasure or he was simply making conversation but Russia appeased me somewhat with his next words. "I thought it best, Count Bennigsen, that Lithuania accompany me as Vilnius is still his as well."

The man cleared his throat awkwardly and offered me his hand. "Yes, well, it's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Lithuania."

I took the offered hand and squeezed it perhaps a bit harder than was necessary. "Of course. It's a pleasure to be here." I let a tight smile pull at my lips as he realized the sentiment I hadn't returned.

"Well then," Russia clapped his hands together to draw our attention. "Lithuania and I are both very weary from traveling. Perhaps we could put off official business until tomorrow."

Bennigsen nodded his agreement and called for a maid who showed us to our rooms where our luggage was already waiting for us. I had barely begun unpacking when a there was a knock at the door. I opened it to find Russia looking down at me with excited violet eyes.

"Would you show me around town?"

I hesitated. "It's been ages since I lived here and I thought you said you were tired from traveling."

He nodded but didn't back down. "We won't go far. Just to the market maybe? You can tell me about how it's changed."

Realizing that I didn't really have a choice in the matter I relented.

Vilnius had indeed changed. I hadn't lived there since the union with Poland and had only visited a few times in the years after. The city had grown quite a lot and the market was vast with shops selling all sorts of goods from fresh produce and baked goods to household wares and jewelry. Russia was fascinated by everything and how it differed from what was found in Moscow. He asked me questions about the origins and designs of items. I answered when I could and translated for the shopkeepers when I had to turn his questions over to them. He stopped at a stall to pick out amber pendants to take back for his sisters and at another to buy a molinukai shaped like a rabbit. He was quite taken with the little sculpture. When I teased him for it he claimed it was a present for Her Highness Elizabeth but it was obvious from his flustered reaction that the figure wasn't truly intended for her.

On our way back Russia commented, "Vilnius is a beautiful city."

I chuckled a bit and smiled. "How can you even judge? You've hardly seen any of it."

He turned to me his eyes shining with all the happiness of the day. "It's yours. It would be impossible for your city to _not_ be beautiful."

The words echoed in my head. '_Your city'_. He had said the same earlier _'Vilnius is still his'_. Those words filled me with a sense of belonging, a sense of _freedom_ I hadn't felt for a very long time.

-oO0Oo-

Metai: The Seasons. A Lithuanian poem by Kristijonas Donelaitis. Really an interesting poem. If you're interested you can read it in English here: ~

Вели́кие Лу́ки: Velikiye Luki

Count Bennigsen: Levin August, Count von Bennigsen was the Governor of the Lithuania-Vilna Governorate from 1801 to 1806. He was a German General who served Russia's military.

Molinukai: Clay whistle/ocarina things that are often shaped like animals. Years ago there was a woman who sold them at the state fair where I live. I had a cat!

Her Highness Elizabeth: This refers to Elizabeth Alexeievna the Grand Duchess of Russia wife of Tsar Alexander I

Author's Note: I can't believe how long it's been since I updated this. I don't even have a good excuse. Don't get me wrong, I have a whole _host_ of excuses but really there's no _good_ excuse for taking over TEN MONTHS to update. I had the first half of this chapter written within weeks after the last one but then… well here we are ten months later. I want to thank everyone who's still reading because I would have given up a long time ago if I was you. I'm seriously the worst author ever for taking this long. I'm going to try to put myself on a schedule and put out an update at least every two months because _really_ it shouldn't take more than two months to write a chapter (no promises tho). Also, I swear to G_od_ it's going to pick back up next chapter because I have historic events to get to (YAY! for history!).

One more thing, I'd like to know your opinions on this if you care to give them. Should I tone down the descriptions for the graphic parts that will come up later for this site (I'm posting this on AdultFanFiction also where I feel free to be as graphic as I want) or just leave them be? Would it offend people if I included graphic non-con here? I don't use this site much so I'm not sure what the consensus is for these things.


	6. Chapter 5

As it turned out Russia didn't need me for translation at all. Every man he met with spoke perfect, or at least passable, Russian. Not a single one of them spoke even the most basic Lithuanian although most of them did, much to my annoyance, speak Polish. The first day was all basic business; harvests, taxation, and use of funds. I wasn't given a say in any of it and I began to question Russia's reasons for bringing me. Was I a bauble to be flaunted like the wives and lovers of these men gossiping in the next room? Why then was I sitting through these meetings? Did my presence serve to further show his authority over the area? I must have not hidden my discontent as well as I thought because Russia sought me out before dinner and asked me join him in the gardens.

"I am sorry about that," he began. "I had hoped that you would have been able to voice your opinions today. After all, you have more experience in these matters than all of them combined."

I stooped to admire the soft pink petals of a peony. It was blooming early surrounded by buds tightly closed against the damp chill of early spring. "It's alright," I said. "The authority here hasn't belonged to me for a long time now. They have no reason to listen to me." It may have been bitter but it was true. Poland had taken my power years before, wrested it from my hands with such gentleness that I hadn't noticed it was gone until it was too late.

Russia hummed thoughtfully. "Just because they have no reason to listen doesn't mean it's wise to discount you." He plucked a leaf from a nearby oak tree. "Peonies don't suit you." Kneeling down he slipped the leaf behind my ear. "Let's head back. They'll be calling us for dinner soon."

The following day started much the same, with long political talks about the general management of the district. The afternoon talks however shifted to a different topic altogether.

"Let's take a break from general governance," Count Bennigsen started, "and speak for a moment about Schola Princeps Magni Ducatus Lithuaniae."

My eyes shot to Russia who sat seemingly unsurprised by the new topic. "The Tsar has decreed that the title shall be changed to Imperatoria Universitas Vilnensis and that the Commission of National Education will transfer all control to the empire," he stated. I sat staring at Russia in stunned shock at his words. _'Imperial University of Vilnius'_. "This will solidify the school as an official institution of the Lithuania-Vilna Governorate as well as the Empire of Russia. The school will manage all educational facilities in the former Grand Duchy of Lithuania. Our hope is that this will continue to unify the people of Lithuania as both their own distinct group as well as a Russian Imperial state." Here he turned to meet my gaze. "What are your thoughts on the matter?"

It took me a moment to compose myself enough to speak but I managed to clear my throat and pull my thoughts together into some coherent form. "I agree that the change in title is appropriate and am honored to have the school recognized by the empire. I'm sure that all Lithuanians will take pride in this symbol of our contribution and will gain a sense of unity knowing that it is possible to be acknowledged as both separate and part of a whole at once."

Russia nodded to me clearly pleased. "Does anyone else have an opinion to share in regards to the change?" No one spoke. What could they say really? It was a decree from the Tsar written in stone before we even left Russia's house.

"Then it's official," Count Bennigsen affirmed. "Schola Princeps Magni Ducatus Lithuaniae will now be known as Imperatoria Universitas Vilnensis."

The rest of the visit was a bit surreal for me. There was an official ceremony at the university where the new administrators and faculty were introduced. To my surprise, aside from the addition of Russian, the curriculum remained mostly unchanged. Classes would still be taught in Polish but that was simply practical given how commonly spoken the language was and Lithuanian culture would still be a strong focus of the school. I was also able to contribute to the meetings, giving opinions about agriculture and trade and they seemed to take my advice seriously.

The last day before we left I was mostly free and took the opportunity to go out into the city again. I wandered past the marketplace taking in the buildings and churches that had been built up since the last time I'd visited. I was headed into a particularly beautiful church when a discussion caught my attention. A small group of Lithuanian men stood talking nearby.

"… and with England refusing the mediated talks France is preparing to go back to war. Prussia isn't wasting any time either but I've heard that the Poles aren't taking well to being forced into service either and you know how the Poles get." I smiled at that. Poland had a stubborn streak as long as the Vistula. "They'll send all of Prussia into disarray. Napoleon will be at our doorstep in no time."

The second man snorted, "France or Russia what's the difference? Either way we'll be second-class citizens." That was the unfortunate truth of the matter. Was there really much to be lost or gained by being conquered by a different force? "Is the captor you know better or worse than the one you don't?"

I stepped into the cathedral and as I kneeled to pray I asked for God to watch over both my people and Poland's and guide them on the path that would bring them to freedom.

…oO0Oo…

The trip back to Russia's home was as uneventful as the trip to away from it had been. I learned more about knitting and I taught Russia more of my language. Ukraine and Belarus both met us when we arrived and somewhere between Ukraine's fussing and Belarus' glaring I managed to slip away with my bags back to my room. Latvia was reading some poetry book I didn't recognize and Estonia was puzzling over the gears in a broken watch. I unpacked my bags and threw myself down on our shared bed.

Latvia abandoned his book to sit beside me. "How was your trip?"

I smiled at him pleased to hear the stutter had retreated from his voice for the moment. I told him everything I could think of. I made sure to mention how we traveled through his lands and that his people seemed well. Estonia pretended to not be listening but I knew better. They were nearly as shocked as I had been to hear that Russia had given so much control to one of my schools. I was just getting to the gossip I'd heard about France when we were called down to dinner.

Russia was more talkative than usual during dinner, giving details of our trip and excitedly talking about his hope for future arrangements similar to the University.

"Not just with Lithuania. I'd of course like Lithuania to have more power to govern his own land and people but I'd like to start giving some responsibilities back to all of you." He smiled at Latvia's wide-eyed expression.

Belarus frowned at her plate. "If you give us too much control we'll have to go back to our own lands. Is that what you want, Brother, to send us away?"

Russia looked horrified at the accusation. "No! Of course not!" His eyes swept the table taking in everyone's confused expressions. "I'm happy that you're all here with me and I want you to stay. I want us all to be a family. Closer than that even." He let his gaze settle on me as he said, "I want us to become one."

Distantly I heard the clatter of flatware against china, the scrape of a chair, and the clack of Belarus' footsteps as she marched out but all of that was lost to the sound of my own pulse thudding in my ears. "I think the trip is catching up to me. I think I'll turn in early, if you'll excuse me."

I managed to keep my composure until the door to the dining hall was firmly shut behind me. I was shaking like a leaf as I all but ran down the hallway towards my room. Turning the corner I tripped over a dainty foot and fell face first to the rug. Belarus' knee dug painfully into my spine and her elegant fingers gripped the back of my head pressing me more firmly against the floor.

"What makes _you_ so special?" She hissed. "You don't deserve Brother's attention." My hair tumbled down around my face as she tore the white silk ribbon from my hair.

"I'm not trying to steal your brother." I tried to turn my head so I wouldn't be muffled by the carpet but her hand shot back into my hair pressing my face harder into the floor.

Leaning down she nearly pressed her lips to my ear as she whispered to me, "Whether or not you're trying isn't the point here. I don't particularly care what filth like you has to say anyway. Stay away from Brother. If you don't there will be consequences."

In a rustle of skirts her weight was lifted from me. I sat watching her disappear back around the corner I'd come from with the strip of white silk still clutched in her fist.

-oO0Oo-

"Not a single one of them spoke even the most basic Lithuanian": Someone correct me if I'm wrong but in my research I've gotten the impression that 1) almost all of the state officials were either Russian or Polish during this time period and 2) Lithuanian was brush off as a "rural" language for the lower classes. It also seems like everything I read that mentions language refers to princes and governors and such learning Russian.

Peonies and Oak Leaves: Peonies represent shame and bashfulness while oak leaves represent strength.

Vistula: Longest river in Poland.

University of Vilnius: So many liberties taken for this. My research failed me badly so I just winged it. I'm sorry about getting so detailed about facts in this part. I thought about cutting some of them but felt that they would be important to Lithuania so in the end I kept it all in.

Author's Note: Only a day late! This deadline thing worked pretty well! The chapter's a little shorter because of it but I think that's worth it. I'll push myself and say a month and a half for the next chapter. Not a huge change but, hey, baby steps. With any luck then plan on seeing another update by October 9th. :)


	7. Chapter 6

Tension hung thick in the air wherever I went in the house. Estonia and Latvia both kept their distance as best as they could, given they were sharing a room with me, Belarus had adopted a perpetual glare, Ukraine tried to lighten the atmosphere by talking about the effects the unusually nice weather would have on this year's crops, and I was trying desperately to avoid getting caught alone with Russia. None of our efforts were any use. Estonia and Latvia shared chores with me more often than not, Belarus' glares seemed to keep her on edge as much as anyone else, Ukraine's attempts at conversation generally fell flat, and Russia's persistence was eventually able to overcome my desperate evasion.

Ukraine had finished drying her last dish and left me to wipe down the counters while she stoked the fires when a hand landed on the curve of my spine. I jumped dropping my washrag and before I had a chance Russia was bending down to pick it up off the floor. As he knelt his hand slid down to rest on my hip. When he stood he left barely a breath of air between his body and mine.

"I didn't mean to scare you."

I took the cloth from him and turned back to the counter I had been scrubbing. Even if I couldn't distance myself physically without being conspicuous I could hopefully create some emotional distance between us. "It's fine. You just startled me."

His other hand joined the first and began kneading lightly at the tense muscles in my lower back. "It seems you're always busy lately. We haven't been able to spend any time together."

My body was struggling to decide if it wanted to tense up more or relax into the unsolicited touch. "We have dinner together every evening."

The talent of Russia's fingers won out and I started to relax under the gentle pressure when he leaned forward letting his breath tickle my ear as he spoke. "I was hoping we could spend some time with each other _alone_." If his words hadn't been clear enough the husky undertone to his voice said exactly what he wanted.

I pulled away as gently as I could and turned to face him. "Mr. Russia," I chewed my lip for a moment trying to find the least inimical way to say what I needed, "I don't think it would be prudent for us…"

"I understand." My eyes went wide as I stared up at the expression of understanding that the other man wore. Had it really been that easy? Was Russia willing to give up so quickly after pursuing me all that time? "You just need a little more time, дa?" My hopes were died as quickly as they'd blossomed as one of Russia's gloved hands landed on my shoulder. "I can wait for now." He leaned forward and captured my lips in a kiss. I felt his hand move to rest lightly against the back of my neck as he lingered a moment. As he pulled away a smile curled his lips. "Don't make me wait too long."

After my encounter in the kitchen I finished my chores as quickly as I could and hurried back to my room in hopes of taking some time alone to think. I wasn't going to get that chance. I opened the bedroom door to find Latvia sitting on our shared bed. His eyes shot up to me as I entered and I sent him a reassuring smile before digging my night clothes out of the dresser.

I heard him clear his throat over the rustling of fabric as I pulled my shift over my head and turned to see him taking from under his pillow a neatly folded piece of parchment with familiar curling script across it. I froze, my eyes glued to the letter. "Latvia?"

He fidgeted under my gaze hands tightening causing the paper to crease. "E-Estonia doesn't think I should t-tell you, but…"

"Where did you get that?"

Latvia bit his lip and smoothed the letter back out. "We got one too, Estonia and I that is, but P-Poland sent you one of your own." He forced a smile to his face as he spoke. "That's n-not a surprise, though."

My throat was suddenly dry. "It surprises me after the last letter I sent him." I licked my lips. "I wouldn't have sent one if I was him."

"He never s-stopped sending them." He slid off the bed and I rushed to snatch the slightly wrinkled parchment from off the blankets where he left it.

My Dearest Lithuania,

More than any other I've sent I pray that this letter finds its way safely into your hands but I imagine this correspondence isn't secure on either of our ends so the chance that this will reach you is slim. You'll have to excuse the lack of detail. Worry of interception forces me to be vague but I still feel what little I'm comfortable writing is important to convey.

You have likely heard of the events unfolding across Europe and doubtless your people are becoming restless just as mine are. I have watched with both excitement and trepidation France's movements and it is in this tense moment as we collectively hold our breaths waiting for Napoleon to sound his trumpets that my people have mustered their strength. They are not Prussia's and won't fight for his cause. They will instead march for their own freedom and my sovereignty and I will charge into battle alongside them.

Please do not misunderstand me. I am not writing you to ask for aid or to encourage you to take the same actions. I know that this endeavor is foolhardy and while I am willing to give my own life for this cause I would never forgive myself were I to risk yours. This venture carries a very real threat of death and the partitions left me vulnerable in a way unlike any I have experienced before however to entertain the possibility of failure would be to invite my own demise so I won't allow myself the luxury of speculation. From the farthest corners of my land and the deepest recesses of my soul I'll believe in victory. I will win my freedom, and when I can once again stand on my own land under my own banner I'll win yours as well.

Love now and forever,

Poland

If the handwriting hadn't been distinctly his I would never have believed that Poland had written that letter. In all our years together I could easily count the number of times he had taken such a serious tone on one hand and only at our introduction had he been so formal toward me. My heart ached for a glimmer of the light-hearted air I was accustomed to from him.

I sat heavily on the edge of the bed clutching that thin sheet of parchment tightly to my chest. Latvia cleared his throat to draw my attention and when I looked up my heart leapt into my throat. He had pried a board up at the far end of the room to reveal neatly stacked piles of letters bound together with twine tucked away beneath the floor. "I kept them all."

"But how? I assume Russia doesn't know."

"Of course not." He smiled slyly. "I've been bribing the courier. He leaves them behind a loose stone in the stable wall and I leave a few coins for him."

My eyes widened. Money was very limited to us. Add that to the danger if Russia had discovered what he'd been doing and that he'd obviously not intended to actually deliver these letters to me and this was bordering on ridiculous. "There have to be hundreds of letters there. I owe you quite a lot."

He shook his head. "This one makes four hundred and fifty eight." He waved his hands quickly at my shocked expression. "You don't owe me anything though. Really. You've done more than enough for all of us. The way things were before… It's so much better now with you here."

I nodded solemnly. I didn't know how well Russia had treated everyone before I had arrived but it wasn't difficult to imagine what it might have been like for everyone without someone for him to focus his attentions on.

"A-anyway, I already owed this t-to you," He stuttered out keeping his eyes carefully averted.

Before I could question what he meant the swung open causing us both to jump. Estonia looked back and forth between us a few moments before closing the door behind him. "You should be more careful. Anyone could walk in." Latvia shuffled his feet guiltily. "And you," he turned to me, "Don't get foolish just because of what Poland said." He waved a hand at the letter I still held.

I strode across the room laying it with its kin and replaced the board hiding the letters away once more. "I understand your concern but I think it would be a good idea for each of us to keep an ear to the ground. If by some miracle his plan works Poland will gather his forces as quickly as possible and begin his campaign to reunite the commonwealth and even if he falls," my throat had suddenly gone dry and I had to swallow hard before continuing, "the chaos that comes in the wake of France's army may give us opportunity to reclaim our lands."

Both of them were listening intently to me and as I looked at each of them wearing such serious expressions I was reminded of all the battles they fought under my command. "If either of you sees an opportunity to escape Russia's control you should take it."

Latvia wrung his hands and looked up at me with watery eyes. "I thought m-maybe we could… t-together…"

"Our best chances are likely to come individually." I let my hand rest on his shoulder. "If a good opportunity arises for the three of us to leave together we'll take it but I don't want you to wait for that. Be cautious, wait for the right time, and get out when you can regardless of our situations." He nodded reluctantly.

-oO0Oo-

Author's note: I swear I have a good excuse for being late this time! My computer died… then there was kind of a real-life crisis… then it was Halloween (which is kind of a big deal for me) and this whole thing just got put on the back burner. A whole month late this time but here I am!

I'm sorry the story's moving so slow. Every time I think I'm getting somewhere a bunch of extra plot and character development gets in my way! OTL Thank you so much to everyone who's continuing to read this. Knowing you're out there makes me want to work hard to make this story as good as it can possibly be. I was reading over the previous chapters and there are so many typos! It's so embarrassing! I'll work on editing those so I can re-upload them with my next update. With Christmas coming up things'll be hectic so I'll say… January 10th?


End file.
